


You Do You and I'll Do Me (And Maybe We'll Make Something Of This)

by EvalynnMesserli



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Dreams and Nightmares, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-War, Religion, Size Difference, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Strained Relationships, Threesome, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22719478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvalynnMesserli/pseuds/EvalynnMesserli
Summary: It's a simple arrangement. Starscream must become conjunx endura to an Autobot in order for there to be peace. He has no choice in the matter. He's expecting it to be the worst and most humiliating thing in his entire life, but maybe...it won't be so bad?Yeah right.
Relationships: Bumblebee/Starscream (Transformers), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker
Comments: 15
Kudos: 89





	1. The Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, not sure where this came from. Did not intend for this to come out on Valentine's Day, but here we are. Main pairing is Starbee and all that, so enjoy.

“You  _ what? _ ” Starscream snarled, glaring at Megatron in outrage. “How  _ dare _ you!”

He couldn’t believe this. Megatron couldn’t seriously think that he had the right to sign away Starscream’s life like that. This had to be some kind of cruel joke.

“Well?” he snapped. Megatron was being irritatingly calm as he lounged on his throne and Starscream hated him even more for it.

“It’s simple, Starscream,” Megatron said, resting his helm on his fist. “We need an alliance with the Autobots and what better way to do that than with a conjunx endura ceremony?”

“But why does it have to be  _ me _ ?” Starscream demanded, wings hiked up high in agitation. He wanted to shoot Megatron in the face for this. More so than usual.

“Are you not my second-in-command?” Megatron stood, towering over him. “Having you participate in such a matter is basic logic, is it not? The highest ranking bot in my army other than myself is quite a prize after all.”

Starscream squashed down the uncomfortable sensation twisting his spark at being called a prize and replaced it with anger. “So I’m just supposed to sign my spark away to some Autobot grounder without any say of my own?”

“Correct.”

His servos clenched into fists. Megatron had better be careful the next time he recharged.

“Oh calm down,” Megatron said after noticing just how agitated Starscream was getting. “I never said you had to bond with him. You just have to become legal conjunx enduras. You simply have to pretend to get along in public and do whatever you want in private.” He moved forward. “No one’s expecting you to do much more than act like you get along.” He was right in front of Starscream, leaning down until they were almost nose to nose. “And I expect you to be a very good actor. Understand?”

Starscream wanted to spit in his face, Wanted to scream and refuse this whole thing. It was his life and Megatron was signing it away as if it was nothing. It wouldn’t be completely gone, but to have even a fraction of a choice taken out of his hands was infuriating. He almost refused almost told Megatron exactly where he could shove his arranged conjux ceremony, but the second he looked into Megatron’s optics, all hope of being defiant was crushed by all consuming fear. Resting in those cold, crimson optics was the threat that if he would refuse, Megatron would make sure he was stuck in the medbay for at least ten mega-cycles at the very least. It would most likely be much longer.

Starscream’s wings ached as he remembered the last time Megatron had that look.

“...I understand,” he murmured, wings drooping in submission.

Megatron didn’t move for a moment, searching Starscream’s face for a sign that he was lying. He apparently liked what he saw as he stood back to his full height, a smirk gracing his face. “Good,” he purred. “You’ll have the rest of the night cycle to enjoy your last few cycles as an official bachelor, and come morning we will head to the old council building to finish up negotiations before moving to the Temple to prepare for the ceremony.”

“ _ Tomorrow? _ ” Starscream gaped at him. He couldn’t believe this. He thought at the very least he’d get a few days, maybe even get to find out which Autobot officer it was exactly and come up with some kind of agreement with them before everything went to the pits.

“Yes tomorrow. We want to get this all over with as soon as possible after all.” Megatron said those words so easily, as if he wasn’t just giving someone away as a prize. “Optimus and I already agreed on the date. To change it now would most likely cause friction and this’ll all be for nothing.” There was a brief pause before  Megatron continued speaking, but Starscream heard none of it. Instead doing his best to plot on how he was going to get out of this. 

He could simply try to run away, but then Megatron would hunt him down and with Soundwave helping, it wouldn’t take that long. Megatron would make sure to give him an especially painful death when he was inevitably found. He could try to fake his death, but it would be too suspicious. Starscream had survived so much that for him to suddenly die right before his arranged conjunx ceremony that he was clearly against would immediately tip Megatron off. He might not have been a genius, but Megatron wasn’t stupid. 

Maybe he could try to kill Megatron? It wouldn’t be the first time, and he was even more motivated to do so than usual. 

Plans started running through his mind until he realized that Megatron was probably expecting that and if he tried he most likely wouldn’t be having his wings anytime soon.

There was no way out. Not one he could think of at the moment anyway. The realization made his spark go cold.

“I expect you to be here first thing tomorrow,” Megatron said much louder than before, as if he was aware that he wasn't being listened to. Starscream was startled out of his thoughts and met his optics. “Do not be late. If you are, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

Starscream’s vents stuttered. “Y-yes, my lord.”

“Then you are dismissed.”

“But who--”

“I said you are dismissed!” Megatron snapped, cutting the question off and gesturing for Starscream to go. He was known for being defiant, but even Starscream knew when to not push Megatron’s buttons, instead quickly leaving while trying his best not to look like he was fleeing.

A thousand thoughts and emotions were roaring inside him, but he couldn’t focus on any of them now. Especially not if Soundwave was watching him so Megatron could laugh at his suffering and at how this whole thing was affecting him. 

That thought made Starscream even more furious than before. Megatron would love to see him squirm, love to see him throw a fit over this. He wanted a reaction. That’s why he hadn’t discussed this with Starscream beforehand. Why he wouldn’t tell him who he was going to become conjunx to. He saw this as entertainment.

He wanted Starscream to retaliate, wanted him to try and find a way to escape. He wanted him to try and come after him. He found it all amusing. He was enjoying this.

Well, Starscream wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Megatron wanted to see him upset over this? Wanted to watch this entire thing fail? Too bad.

As he proudly made his way to his quarters, Starscream made a decision. If Megatron wanted to play this game, then bring it. Starscream would play it by his own rules.

And he would win.

~~~~~~~~~~

“He  _ what? _ ” Skywarp wheezed. “Oh this is  _ priceless! _ ”

Starscream sent a glare to his laughing trinedate who was sprawled on  _ his _ berth. He had been hoping to have some alone time after learning about the arranged conjunx ceremony, but he’d arrived in his quarters to find Thundercracker and Skywarp had already set up camp, both curious as to what was so urgent that Starscream had to be called away during a frag marathon.

He was really regretting telling them. Or at least telling Skywarp. At least Thundercracker looked more concerned than amused at his fate.

“And you don’t know who it’ll be?” Thundercracker asked once Skywarp had calmed down somewhat.

“No. Slagger cut me off before I could ask,” he growled, anger rising again at the thought. Here he was being forced to become conjux with someone and he wouldn’t even know until the actual event.

Skywarp snickered, but Thunderscracker hummed thoughtfully, digits drumming on the edge of the datapad he was holding. He’d been doing that a lot lately and it was starting to get really annoying.

“Well, if Megatron really is trying to make this as awful for you as possible as you claim he’s doing,” he said after a moment of thinking, “then it’ll probably be someone that you won’t expect at all.”

“Watch it be that tiny yellow minibot Prime’s fond of,” Skywarp jokingly chimed in, still smirking. 

“You mean Bumblebee?”

“Yeah, him.” Skywarp looked as if he was about to start up again. “Wouldn’t that be hilarious?”

Thundercracker rolled his optics. “I highly doubt Megatron would allow a simple scout to become the conjunx of his Second-in-Command,” he said, “no matter how fond Prime is of him. If anything it’ll be Jazz or Prowl.”

“Oh Primus, imagine being conjunx endura with  _ Prowl _ ,” Skywarp groaned. “Those doorwings of his are hot as slag, but his personality? Not worth it.”

Starscream gave his wings an annoyed flutter. “Well that makes me feel  _ so _ much better. Really glad I came to you two for reassurance. Oh wait.”

“Your berth is bigger than mine.”

“It has a better atmosphere for writing than anywhere else in the base.”

“Uh huh,” Starscream said as he made his way over to his berth and sat down on the edge beside Skywarp. “Well, as you two refuse to be any help in this situation, you might as well help with something else.” A click rang out as Starscream bared his array, laying back on his elbows and spreading his legs to show off his wet valve and half-pressurized spike. “We were in the middle of something earlier, weren’t we?”

~~~~~~~~~

He was kneeling, chained to the pedestal that would mark his doom. His wings were gone, ripped off of him in front of the cheering crowd by Megatron.

“You won’t be needing these anymore!” he’d cackled, grin stretching across his face, practically splitting it in half.

Energon covered his back, his head light as he bled out, vision going fuzzy. Thundering steps shook the ground and a red and blue figure towered over him, blue optics nearly white and blinding him.

“Is it ready?” the voice of Optimus Prime rings out, deafening and silencing the chittering crowd. Somehow he knew that “it” was referring to him.

“Stripped and ready to be handed over,” Megatron replied from behind him, grabbing his helm and forcing it to the side, forcing him to look at a dark figure. He knew it was his future conjunx. “Look at the prize I’ve arranged for you.”

A prize. That’s all he was. All Megatron and the others saw him as. Not a bot. Not someone important with his own thoughts and feelings in the matter . Simply a toy to be handed over.

“Open your spark chamber, Starscream.”

What? No! That wasn’t part of the agreement! He struggled, fighting the the chains and the hold on him as his chest was ripped open, desperately trying to get free, silently screaming in protest. He was too weak though, the lack of energon making him sluggish and soon his spark was bared obscenely in front of everyone, ready to be claimed and humiliated.

The dark figure stepped forward, chest plates parting in order to claim his prize, servo reaching out to press against his shoulders, pushing him back into the perfect position to merge their sparks.

He tried to fight, tried to scream for this to stop, he doesn’t want this, don’t do it, please just stop-!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Starscream woke with a start, nearly knocking whoever was lying on top of him off the berth. A second later, Skywarp groaned in time with the shifting frame, informing him who it was. He was a bit surprised that the two had stayed after he’d passed out during that last overload when normally they just fragged and left. He didn’t want to really analyze it at the moment though.

Quickly shoving Skywarp off of him, causing him and Thundercracker to moan and shift in protest, Starscream stood and stretched his stiff and sore joints. Faintly glowing fluids dripped down his thighs and made a mess on the floor, but he didn’t pay any attention to it and made his way over to the balcony.

Stepping outside, he felt all the tension leaving his frame. The air was cool and crisp as Luna 1 and 2 shone brightly, covering everything in a pale light. Before the war, the surrounding city would have been covered in the lights and sounds bots going about their lives despite the lack of visible sun. Now though, it reminded him of Earth with only a few spatterings of light here and there while the rest remained dark. 

There were so few of them now, the war having wiped out most of their numbers, and it was showing.

Starscream leaned against the railing, shuttering his optics and spreading his wings out to fully enjoy the light breeze. He was once more filled with the urge to run. To just transform and fly off somewhere else, to not allow himself to become some prize for an Autobot. Freedom was right there. So damn close. The gentle wind begging him to just go. But he wouldn’t. It’s what Megatron wanted. He would find it amusing to see Starscream try to escape him, and then would greatly enjoy the act of punishment after. The dream floated back into mind and he shuddered, wings twitching as if to remind him they were still there, sparkbeat increasing and chest plates tightening almost painfully, terror swelling up inside him.

No! Starscream shook his helm, trying to chase the dream away. It was just some stupid processor glitch. It meant nothing. He wasn’t afraid. He was Starscrem of Vos, Second in Command of the Decepticons, Air Commander and the leader of the Elite Trine. He didn’t get  _ scared _ . So what if it turns out Megatron lied to him and fully intended for him to enter a spark bond with some stupid Autobot? It changed nothing. He knew who he was and what he wanted and nothing Megatron ever did to him would change that. If he did end up being forced into a bond, then oh well. He’d live and continue with his ambitions and plans. Nothing would stop him.

He ignored the clenching in his spark and went inside, escaping the temptation of the sky.


	2. Meeting the Intended

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a struggle to write, and I’m still it entirely happy with it, but here ya go

“You’re so boring all of the sudden,” Skywarp complained as they flew to the Temple. “You’re not even conjunxed yet so can you please be interesting again?”

“Will you shut up already?” Thundercracker snapped for what was probably the seventh time in the last few kliks. “If he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want to talk. Just enjoy the silence for once.”

“But silence is boring!” Skywarp whined. “C’mon, tell him Screamer.”

Starscream internally rolled his optics. Those two had done nothing but bicker the entire flight and it was getting annoying. They could at least have the decency to keep it between them through comms like the rest of seekers who were very clearly gossiping about him. They thought they were being sneaky, but Starscream could easily tell it was happening.

He hadn’t spoken much since they’d taken off, prefering to put his processing power towards scheming of ways to make this work to his advantage along with keeping his dignity. Starscream might have a habit of talking back, but this time he refused to give Megatron the satisfaction of knocking him around in front of their troops and humiliating him further, especially as he’d clearly just been given guards to keep him from running away, showing everyone how Megatron clearly thought he couldn't take responsibility and needed to be watched like a newbuild. As for the scheming part, there wasn’t much he could do until he knew who it was he’d be conjunxed to, but he did have a rough outline of seducing them and tricking them somehow into doing something that would help him get rid of Megatron. Not his most thought out plan, but it was a start. He’d need more information before he adds in the details.

It was one of the few times in his life where he dreaded to learn something, though he would never admit it to anyone. He could barely admit it to himself and even then it was something he refused to fully accept.

::We’re nearing the Temple:: one of the seekers in front of them commed, shaking Starscream from his thoughts. ::Lord Megatron told us to land at the gate in order to meet up with him. We’ll begin our descent in twenty-three kliks!::

“‘We’ll begin our descent in twenty-three kliks’,” Skywarp mocked aloud before switching over to private comms. ::I thought we were the fragging Elite Trine, not this factory reject.:: Thundercracker hummed in agreement.

::Oh so now you two are getting along.:: 

::And now you’re talking, Screamer:: Skywarp laughed. ::So it worked out in our favor.::

::Don’t drag me into this:: Thundercracker snapped. ::I was fine enjoying the peace and quiet.::

::You’re both insufferable.::

Skywarp snorted ::You say that as if it’s an insult.::

Starscream snarled, but before he could retort—something about how normal bots would be insulted—the seeker who had given the previous instructions spoke again.

::Seekers, begin your descent.::

As annoyed as Starscream was at getting his authority undermined like this, he couldn’t help but preen slightly at how skillfully the seekers flew even without him at the lead. Each one tilted down at the almost perfect moment and with the same grace, smoothly picking up speed before pulling up at the last second to transform in a wave, creating quite the sight for such a simple move.

“Redwing,” Megatron greeted the seeker who had been giving orders, not at all seeming to care about the beauty of their descent. “I hope everything went smoothly?”

The seeker, Redwing, stood up a bit straighter, clearly trying to look in command and professional. The image was ruined though by the nervous and excited trembling of his wings which had most of the others snickering. “Everything went perfectly, my lord.”

Megatron cocked an optic ridge. “Oh really?” He mused. “There weren’t any...troublemakers, were there?” He looked directly at Starscream for that comment. Starscream clenched his servos and flared as he bit his glossa. He would not give Megatron the satisfaction of throwing him around.

“No, sir. Everyone behaved adequately.”

“I must admit, I’m surprised. Good work Redwing. Now Starscream,” Megatron turned from Redwing’s swooning to fix his gaze on him, “I believe it’s time to go and meet your future conjunx.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The Temple was beautiful. It was tall and delicate looking, yet was clearly sturdy if the fact that it was almost entirely intact was any indication. The silver walls were decorated with a rainbow of colors and carvings depicting Cybertron’s earliest history and achievements. Primus becoming Cybertron and creating the Thirteen, the great battles against Unicron, the first full generation of Cybertronians being born. It was all painted in a breathtaking display and that was only the outside. Inside were glittering chandeliers and gold and silver ornaments decorating the entirety of every wall, making the rooms shine in an almost otherworldly light. In the main chamber sat the altar where everything from religious rituals to bonding ceremonies were performed as murals of Primus and eleven of the Thirteen watched. There had once been thirteen murals, but the Fallen and the Arisen’s murals had been mostly destroyed, leaving only the faintest trace of their existence behind.

Starscream had been there once before, Skyfire having dragged him there to witness an amica bonding ceremony between two of his friends and he had thought it was beautiful and even admired it. But now he couldn’t. Because while most bots who came here saw it as a way to devote themselves to Primus or to another, he saw it as a prison.

“Not feeling very talkative today?” Megatron asked, glancing at him with cruel amusement. 

“Apparently not,” Starscream replied, forcing himself to stare straight ahead. Megatron quietly growled in frustration and it took every ounce of self control not to grin at that. Another perk for being quiet for once.

“Well,” Megatron snarled as they reached the entrance to the altar, “soon you’ll be doing plenty of talking.” The Autobots already stood inside, talking tensely amongst themselves. All except for Prime, who turned to face Starscream and the others.

“Megatron,” he greeted, causing the other Autobots to fall silent and turn to them as well.

“Optimus!” Megatron greeted in turn, sounding much more cheerful and excited. “I hope everything is ready?”

“Yes, but,” Prime took a few steps forward, “I beg you to please reconsider who you chose to become conjunx with Starscream. Several of my officers, including Jazz and Prowl, have offered to take his place.” 

::So if he’s not an officer, then who the slag is he?:: Skywarp commed. Starscream didn’t have an answer. He might not have known who it was he would become conjunx with, but he at least thought it would be someone of a high rank. Though if Megatron had chosen who it was, it was probably to humiliate Starscream even more.

Megatron threw back his helm and laughed. “We had an agreement, Optimus. You would get my full cooperation in this treaty and I would choose who exactly Starscream’s intended would be. And I don’t doubt my second would be severely disappointed with a sudden change in plans. So, bring him forward so we may begin the ceremony.”

Prime hesitated for a moment, optics narrowing slightly, before sighing in defeat, his entire frame seeming to become drained of energy he turned around and motioned for someone to come forward.

Starscream watched as the Autobots parted, clearly for his intended, but he wasn’t able to see him due to Prime being in the way until he was standing right next to him. His optics widened and his spark began to sink as he saw just who he’d been promised to.

Behind him, Skywarp burst into cackling laughter, prompting the others to start snickering. Starscream glanced at Megatron and saw that he had a smug grin he wasn’t even trying to hide.

“Starscream,” he said, “meet your intended.”

Starscream turned back to the minibot, and the only saving grace was that he looked as uncomfortable as Starscream felt.

“Bumblebee.”

~~~~~~~~~~

He was tiny. Pathetically so. Starscream had no idea how anyone this small could be functioning. Or could have avoided being squished. He’s known plenty of minibots before, but this is pushing it. Almost to mini-con levels of height. Seriously how—

“Will you please stop staring at me like that?”

Starscream started slightly, vaguely realizing that he’d been staring at Bumblebee for a good while without saying anything. Bumblebee looked uncomfortable and nervous, shifting and picking at the already flaking paint on his digits. Starscream would almost maybe feel bad for him if he wasn’t so miserable himself. 

“Well maybe grow a few inches and maybe I won’t be distracted by what a midget you are.” Starscream couldn’t help but smirk at the annoyed look that crossed over Bumblebee’s face. Oh this was making him feel a bit better. This little bug would be easy to manipulate, he could tell.

“I’m not that short!” Bumblebee snapped, causing Starscream to laugh. He leaned back in his seat and smirked and the upset minibot.

“Oh so that’s why anyone who’s not a cassette or a mini-con is taller than you then, even other minibots. Sorry, didn’t realize.” This was way too much fun. The look on the minibot’s face was priceless.

“Can we please just talk about something else,” Bumblebee growled. With most bots this would have been intimidating, but it was hard taking him seriously. He had too severe of a case of sparkling-face for any glaring or growling to be effective.

“Alright, fine, I’ll humor you. What do you want to talk about?”

“Maybe about how we’re going to live our lives after becoming conjunx endura? The entire reason we’re here in the first place?” It was tradition in arranged conjunx and amica endura ceremonies for the two bots involved to privately discuss their boundaries and what they were comfortable with in order for the union to be as smooth and healthy as possible. They would have about a cycle or so to do so before the actual ceremony began.

“What’s there to discuss?” Starscream dropped his helm back to look at the ceiling. “You stay out of my way, I’ll stay out of your way. We’ll live in the same apartment and appear at important things together but that’s it. We can avoid each other like scraplets the rest of the time.” He rolled his helm forward to fix Bumblebee with his gaze. “And just so you know, I’m not going to stop interfacing with whoever I want just because we’re officially tied together, got it?”

Bumblebee stared at him a moment before pressing his derma together into line. “Got it,” he nodded.

“Good.” Starscream rolled back his helm to stare at the ceiling. Maybe he could have continued to tease and make fun of Bumblebee, but he wasn’t in the mood anymore. He’d honestly gotten the best deal he could at the moment. Bumblebee would let him do whatever he wanted as if they weren’t conjunx endura. He’d half convinced himself he’d have to do some kind of manipulation or seduction thing to get even some of that, but that wasn’t the case. Sure, he was still going to try to use Bumblebee for his own ends, but that could wait until later. For now, he just allowed silence to fall over them as they waited for the cycle to be over, and for the ceremony to begin.


End file.
